Whoa, sex

At church we are doing a sex series. It’s great, informative, a little uncomfortable at times, but for the most part, it’s great. More than about sex the act it’s been more about relationships and how sex comes in to play in the marriage relationship; like I said informative.

Last week something that came up was arguments, and how there is never a winner when it come to arguments. I argue to win, I think I always have, it’s the way we did it growing up. However I see how it’s not productive in relationships.

In the car on the way home from church last week Joe and I were talking and I mentioned that I like to win, he told me that he’d seen that, then he told me that when I’m trying to make a point my tone can come across as demeaning. I can see how this is how I can come across, and I want to change it.

I’ve been thinking about this all week and have been trying to see it in my daily life. However I’m having a hard time, I need to pray about it more. Today I asked Joe to point it out when I do it. I know that this could be a bit of a slippery slope but I feel like it’s what I need, for now.

Growing and relationships, I’m finding, can be hard, but so worth it.

Some sad news

I wanted this blog to be mostly about school and food and fun stuff but I had to make a tough decision today and I needed to write about it. I had to put my cat down today. I’m very sad. She was not very old but she was sick, she wasn’t eating and she had stopped cleaning herself. So today I took her to the vet and then brought her home and buried her. I loved her very much, she was a wonderful cat and she was there during some really big changes in life, I will miss her.

The Future

I started back a school this week and my first assignment was to write an essay on where I see myself when I'm finished with my program. While for most people this might be easy and maybe fun, for me it was really hard. I spend most of my days trying not to think about the future, something that I used to do all the time, and have been being trying to train myself out of that kind of thinking. I can get lost in the future, and will stop living in the now. Dreaming about what people will say, how they will react, and where I will be, and then I'm inevitably let down because no one can ever live up to my dreams. I struggle anytime someone asked me to look in to the future because I would just rather not.